Steven F.
I grew up in an unhappy family. As a child, I often came home from school to find my parents arguing. Because of this unhealthy environment, I never thought of our house as a home—just a place where two people who disliked each other would fight.
Over time, my parents became more distant. They had grown so different that they couldn’t agree on anything. One was a liberal Democrat, and the other was a strong Republican. One believed in Christianity, and the other was an atheist. They were always in conflict.
Living in a house filled with so much tension was hard. All I wanted was my parents’ approval and love, but if I sided with one, the other would reject me. It felt like walking through a field of landmines.
As I got older, this deep need for approval became overwhelming. I wanted to be loved, recognized, and trusted by everyone around me. I became a people pleaser, always saying “yes” to everything.
I started my own business because I thought it would make my graduate school classmates admire me. I went to church to gain acceptance from my community. I believed that if I could carefully navigate life, like I did during my childhood, I would finally feel fulfilled by gaining the approval I had missed growing up.
Of course, this wasn’t a realistic or healthy way to live. I became frustrated with the person I had become. That’s when I started meditating.
Now in my 50s, I have never had a better relationship with myself. Before meditation, I didn’t understand the reasons behind my behavior, but now I can explain my life story without embarrassment or shame. I can admit that I wanted to be a business owner for all the wrong reasons—focusing only on recognition and quick success rather than helping my customers. That is why so many of my businesses failed.
I also realize that my attendance at church was driven by a selfish desire to feel accepted by others, not by a genuine interest in my spiritual growth.
Without meditation, I would still be trying to please everyone and seeking approval. But now, I have let go of that old self and learned to accept and love my true self. Even after just two months of meditating, people have noticed how much happier I seem and how my thinking, behavior, and habits have changed.
I see these changes, too. I no longer feel the need to constantly search for love, recognition, or success.
I am so grateful for this meditation.
It truly works, and I believe everyone should try it. In fact, I’m heading to the meditation center right now to continue my journey. I hope to see you there!
