Cerina L.
During my nursing school training, I learned the clinical definition of depression from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It includes symptoms like a depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, changes in appetite, slowed thinking and movement, fatigue, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, indecisiveness, and suicidal thoughts. But when I faced depression myself years later, these symptoms were more than just textbook descriptions.
My depression came as a shock because I had always worked hard and lived a good life. Initially, I lost interest in things that used to make me happy. Over time, I lost motivation for everything. Nothing seemed important anymore. I didn’t care about living, eating, personal hygiene, or even the fact that I had a loving family. I felt completely alone and hopeless.
Many people with depression feel trapped by their condition, and from my medical background, I knew that if I didn’t overcome this illness, it could be fatal. Fearing death pushed me to start meditation. With the help of my meditation instructor, I began to accept my condition.
The inner voice that once said, “I don’t want to live anymore,” gradually changed to, “I see that you’re going through a tough time right now. That’s okay. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t feel like it. No matter what others think, your feelings are valid. It’s okay to take a break and watch others move ahead.”
This change in perspective made a huge difference. I learned to view my mental struggles as chances for self-reflection and growth. Thanks to meditation, I’ve found hope again and now see both the positives and negatives in my life as valuable, not burdens. I’m deeply grateful for this practice.
